I'm sure you have never done such a thing. I'm sure that you are a perfect mama to your little angels. I'm also sure that you are a picturesque mama to your little hellions.
I'm sure that you would never call them hellions.
Of this, I am positive.
But me on the other hand? I tend to get stressed out. Especially when they are moving fast enough or understanding that we need to hurry. Even when they are singing, "It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring!" For the 80 billionth time in 2 minutes. These things tend to stress me out.
While I am sure that you have never said the above words to your children and while I"m sure you hold it together every single time they are irritating, sometimes I can't help but let my inner beast out.
This time, it was all over them in the car.
"EVERYBODY, just SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!"
pause
"I'm STRESSED OUT!"
pause
"ALL I WANT TO DO IS GET YOU HOME AND FEED YOU So THAT WE CAN BRING YOU BACK FOR SWEET GIRL's SWIMMING LESSONS!"
pause.
"I AM SO STRESSED OUT!"
pause
pause
pause
I like to think that pausing is a good way to collect myself. Sometimes it works. Key word is sometimes.
I'm sure it's only me. I'm sure that in the midst of trying to do something right for your sweet peas & buddies you can take everything with a grain of salt.
All the manuals that I have read about parenting suggest that freaking out and getting loud isn't a good thing to do. That it creates anxiety in your children.
I could try to disagree, but I won't ever win.
All I can say is that my sweet peas & buddies have no delusions about their mama's shortcomings. In fact, they tell pretty much anyone they see, "Mama loses her temper a lot." Right in front of me.
And I am humbled. I have to nod and agree. Yep, Mama does lose her temper.
Shall we finish the rest of the story?
So after pausing multiple times, "AAAAAHHHH! This is so annoying!"
pause
pause
pause
"I'm so stressed out. Sweet Girl needs to eat, we have to get home and in 5 minutes feed her and get her back!"
pause
"I'm so stressed!"
Pause
"I'm sorry, guys!"
pause
"Sweet Girl, I'm sorry!"
"I forgive you."
"Storygirl, I'm so sorry."
"I forgive you!"
"Sir, I'm sorry I made you cry. "
more wailing
"Squirt, "I'm sorry I scared you."
"I 'cared."
"I know, buddy. I'm sorry"
But then, if you never get stressed out on your sweet peas and buddies, I guess you never get to experience that.
A humbled mama. A forgiven mama. A loved mama.
You mean I'm not the only one? Well, the only parent anyway. Maybe you're the only mom and I'm the only dad who does this. Thanks for writing this, Gianna. I sometimes find it hard to pick back up and keep going after I've lashed out at one of the M&Ms. (Yes, even M2 is getting to be more and more of a stinker, believe it or not.) Thankful for Grace.
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