Just two days ago we were all running around crowing, "It's 12/12/12! It's 12/12/12! And now it's 12:12 on 12/12/12!
Today is 12/14/12 and no longer are we spewing off trivial facts. Today we are crying and numb and chilled. We are exhausted emotionally and have stress headaches. We are sick to our stomachs and hurting.
This should not have happened. My Sweet Peas are that age. I have a kindergartener! And today, she won a Tiger Pride Award today! This is a big deal. My second grader has never won one of these in the 2 1/2 years she has been going to school. So in my family, today is a happy day. At least for Storygirl.
And yet even in the midst of her award, my heart is hurting.
It's at these times, that I need to remember a couple things.
- This tragedy is not about me. I am taking extra time and loving on my children. I am hugging them and realizing the precious gift they are. But my grief is not for myself. And if it becomes about me, then I am caring more about my fears and worries than about the families whose kindergarteners and 2nd graders will remain kindergarteners and 2nd graders forever in their memories. I have mine, they don't. And my prayers should be for them as I thank Jesus for my own.
- This goes so much beyond gun control. I'm not arguing that we shouldn't control guns better. I'm not arguing for better gun control. I am saying that what happened goes beyond a simple (or complex) gun. I am saying that people who use guns to kill innocents adults and children--wherever they happen to live--have evil ruling inside them. Evil.
Darryl Scott, Columbine victim Rachel Scott's dad, addressed a congressional hearing and he said this,
Your laws ignore our deepest needs,
Your words are empty air. You've stripped away our heritage, You've outlawed simple prayer. Now gunshots fill our classrooms, And precious children die. You seek for answers everywhere, And ask the question "Why?" You regulate restrictive laws, Through legislative creed. And yet you fail to understand,
That God is what we need!
So while I am sad and angry -- as I hope we all are -- I need to get on my knees. And I need to stay on my knees even when I start to feel better. Because it's not about me.
Will you join me on your knees?