But I haven't laughed.
And then I go and sign up for a crazy thing like The Color Run. I drag my family out of bed, I force them to stumble along for blocks to reach the starting gate, and I expect them to have fun.
Then, I run. I run panicked. I run slowly. I run for them. I run for myself. I run and run looking for their faces the whole time. Wondering what they are doing. Wondering where they are. Hoping to see them, to hear them. Only stopping my thoughts about them to talk to the One who can help me with the next step.
Before I know it, it's done. The finish is right around the corner, and he's there to guide me to get some water and help me know what I do next. I was given this faithful and loyal friend for life so that I can run.
I join the crowd. The hot massive sweaty crowd. Stinkiness. And smiles. Because that was unlike anything we've done before. At the same time, just like life. Nasty. Messy. Loud. Uncomfortable. Dorky. FUN!
And I am so happy that I did because I realize that my laugh is still there. That my smile does come back. Even with blue teeth.
I am an assortment of colors. Sometimes I am mostly blue with a speck of yellow. Sometimes I am mostly pink with a head full of green. But whatever color I am, I'm just adding it to the colors already creating my life story.
And when it's all said and done, I hope that others will agree that I look like I had fun!