Friday, June 22, 2012
How I View Zoloft
I am doomed to be fighting anxiety for the rest of my life.
I know that seems so negative, but I am trying to be realistic.
My grandma had anxiety.
My mom has a bent towards anxiety (although she is doing everything she can to fight it. GO, MOM!).
And when major change happens in my life, I have extreme anxiety.
So when I come out and say it's okay to take some medication for postpartum depression, that's where I am coming from.
I do know some other things, too.
Like it's not always about medication.
Or that medication may be only a temporary fix.
Maybe you haven't found the best medication for you.
Do you have to choose between medication or breastfeeding? That's a hard choice.
Whatever your circumstances, please know I'm not here to advocate ONLY for meds. Counseling is important. Support is needed.
Sleep is helpful.
And you know before I was on Zoloft, my anxiety wouldn't let me sleep. And if I didn't sleep, I slipped deeper and deeper into a pit. The Zoloft is also a sleep aid. I had to take it at night. My instructions were implicitly to take only at bedtime.
So did it help balance my hormones?
Sure it did.
Did it help me relax a little bit.
Did it make it possible for me to sleep so that I could work my way out my despair?
The longest I was on Zoloft was 5 months. Then, I was able to wean off. For some people, their despair is very great. For some people, it's just the lack of sleep that needs to be tweaked.
I am so thankful for the tool of Zoloft. If your doctor has given you a prescription for Zoloft and you haven't had the guts to fill it, I would tentatively suggest that you think of it as a sleep aid while treating it with the respect it deserves.
You are not a failure as a mom. Not even close. What you are is a very attentive person. You are trying to listen to the needs of your baby, the needs of your family/husband, and now it's time to figure out if you need anything.
If you can't cope, you need something. If you can't eat, if you can't sleep, if you are constantly crying or dreading the next hour, you need something. And it's okay to need some help.
I never thought I would go on medication for every single one of my babies because I couldn't handle them. But that's what happened. And because I sought out some help, I was able to rest. Even the short hours of sleep, refreshed me and kept me from sinking.