By this time I was always stretched a little bit more than I was prepared for.
But it's not way this time.
I guess I don't know what to do with myself now that my baby is 2.
Upon waking him from his nap, all I want to do is nurse him. Psychologically, nursing him would be ridiculous. He hasn't nursed now for 3 1/2 months. I mourned and grieved over that loss for a month. Truly, I have moved past and accepted the excitement the future brings.
Except maybe I haven't.
Physically, my body aches to comfort his sad cries. I want to wake him slowly and with cuddles, but he doesn't want me to touch him. Oh, but he doesn't want me to put him down, but don't hold him.
I know in my heart if he was still a nursing baby, this uncertainty could be easily remedied. But he's not.
And my body is physically aching.
Reaching for the past once more.
Telling me I'm not ready to move on.
But I can't do anything about it.
I'm joining Heather at The EO, Just Write.
My baby is only 5 months and I'm already dreading the whole giving up nursing thing. And, I've already started mourning how big he's getting... remembering the newborn noises and when I could hold him in one arm without it getting sore. I hear ya, mama.
ReplyDeleteAlmost 4 yrs later, and I can still remember so well how hard it was when the weaning began. It really is a physiological reaction.
ReplyDelete{hugs}
It's really weird to realize you don't have babies anymore. My baby is 6...and I don't want another one...but I would like one to visit often. :)
ReplyDelete